Going to work without a break during the pandemic was very lucky, comparing with the people who lost jobs. However, I have to work with great anxiety about being in contact with the public and without rest due to labor shortage, and I get a lot of stress without knowing. When I complained about my situation, the person who died of corona virus around me, the people who lost important family members and friends, those were too sad to say goodbye without being able to meet at the end, a hospital official Given the great dedication to being isolated from my family and caring for their patients, I was reminded that my situation was nothing.
However, when I improvised, I was surprised to hear the thoughts and stress that had accumulated in me through my fingers without stopping.
These two videos are intended to be etudes (practice songs), and I wondered what kind of sound would be produced by the movement of my fingers, and as a result, it became a stormy performance.
I remember that the thoughts that had accumulated in my head that came out of my heart became as a messy sound through my fingers, and after playing with the feeling of spouting out what had accumulated, I felt so refreshed taking out my all negative feeling.
パンデミック中も休まずに仕事へ行くことは、たくさんの職を無くした方から見ると大変ラッキーでした。ただ公共に接する事の不安や、人手不足で休みなく働く必要があり、ストレスもかなり溜まります。自分の状況に不満を言った時、周りでコロナにかかり亡くなった方、大切な家族や友人を失い、最期の対面も出来ずに別れを言う事になったあまりにも悲しい状態、病院関係者が家族から隔離されて患者さんを介護する大変な献身などを考えると、自分の状況は何でもないと改めて思わせられました。
でもいざ即興で演奏してみて、自分の中に積もり積もった思いやストレスが指を通して止まる事なく音に出てきて、自分でも驚きました。
下の２つはエチュード（練習曲）のつもりで指の運動にとどんな感じの音が出るかなと気楽に弾きだし、結果的に嵐のような演奏になったものです。心の中から出てくる溜まりに溜まった思いが指を通して乱雑な音として出てきて溜まっていたものを噴き出した感じで弾いた後、脱力感を感じるほどすっきりしたのを覚えています。
https://youtu.be/NiAcDYqPvxw Staccato
https://youtu.be/qTzBoMuLc7g Etude Trill
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